I have to confess, I don’t actually know what’s going on with Betwixt. I had some idea of a parent/child or master/apprentice type thing with the two main characters, with some magic and moving between worlds thrown in. And then, suddenly, my little Maskcat doll, who was meant to be a side character, suddenly made off with the whole thing.
What world has she taken them into to? Again, it’s kind of a mystery to me. They were *supposed* to end up in a traditional fantasy realm – all dark forests and castles – but it looks now like she’s shrunk them down and taken them somewhere else altogether. Which is odd, because I already have a story with tiny characters. So, why are my largest dolls (the big guy is about 20 inches tall) suddenly shrunk down to mushroom size? Beats me.
I’m thinking, now that it’s gone in this direction, that she’ll call them in from their “real” world to solve a host of different problems. This one might take place in a very tiny world with butterflies and mushrooms, but another might put them in more traditional castle-and-dragon fantasy, and others might send them back into the real world. At least, that’s the best that I can figure out her plan. I guess, though, we’ll just have to see.
I have not had such a willful character to work with since Camellia dictated the terms by which she’d be set adrift in the ocean. I suspect she and Ester would like each other.
Well, that didn’t last long. I appear to have redone my redo one day after posting it.
Here’s the thing – there’s a rhythm to a graphic novel panel that just isn’t there where you post all of the photos in a blog. So, take the first panel from On Our Own (which I didn’t change)
I very deliberately set it up so it was 3 good things to one bad, all of which could have happened on a single day. That calculation wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t had the idea of a “page” encompassing those four photos.
The second page keeps the pace, but changes the focus
Now the pace has sped up a little – the first three events could have happened in a few hours, as could the fourth (depending on how far she was travelling.) BTW, is any of this clear from the photos? So, on the first page, there’s a sick person in the fourth panel and some idea of happy play in the other three. In the second page, I tried to include enough of the clothing to make sure what was happening (sick person is running a fever, two other people make a phone call, then a new person packs her bags, and she arrives in the fourth panel.)
Now we get to first problem panel.
What the hell has happened to our pacing? Three of the photos *could* have happened in one day, but the fourth? Clearly the person who has died in the second photo could not have been buried already. So, that seems all wrong.
And the fourth panel?
Now we’ve somehow spread it out over at least a month (based on the eviction notice). And, wow, those girls sure have bounced back fast.
So, anyway, I think I was really rushing to get them placed in their trailer, but it really goes outside the bounds of the pacing in the first two pages.
So, I backed off and slowed the pace down. They’ll get to the trailer when they get there, and there’s no time for them to get someone buried in the first episode. I also won’t be able to spell out exactly who died, but that can wait as well.
Here, then, is the (hopefully) final version of the last two pages.
Same two pages are the same, here’s the new page 3.
and the new page 4
Now all reasonably within the bounds of a day or two, and I’ve gotten the characters to the point where they are on their own.
In lieu of a premise song (“here’s a story, of three girls named after plants . . .”), I’ve created a premise episode for On Our Own (used to be called Overhead). Done, naturally, in just hands. Well, actually, in hands plus some clothes, because I realized you couldn’t tell them apart with just their hands.
I promise no other episode will be so grim – I just needed to get all of this behind them so that they could move forward. By their next episode, they’ll have started to absorb it all, and they may even feel like dancing again.
So, anyway, here it is.